Minutes from the Town Council Meeting on Friday

[could be any town council]


Mary: Welcomes everyone to the meeting

Pat: When are we talking about the Christmas lights?

Mary: Hold on now Pat, I’m chairing the meeting..through the chair please.

Pat: Sorry Chair. When are we talking about the Christmas lights?

Mary: Thanks Pat. I don’t know.

Tom: Well I bloody know Pat. Tis ridiculous. They should put up those lights quick to get people out spending.

Mick: That’s not what Christmas is about Tom.

Tom: Tis what my Christmas is about. How can we put food on the table if people don’t buy mate [sic meat] in my butcher’s?

Mary: We need to move on. We have an awful lot to cover. We need to talk about salt..to grit the roads.

Tom: Well someone made a balls of that lasht year.

Mick: Why?

Tom: Cos there was no salt! A pure balls of it the Town Council Transport Committee made of it.

Mary: Don’t talk about Pete like that, he’s not here to defend himself.

Tom: We need to buy loads of salt this year, in case we get frosht again.

All: Agreed!

Mick: But we’ve no money.

All: true

Mary: We must move on. Next item – The Christmas Choir. We need more male voices.

Tom: Count me out anyway. Too busy.

Mary: Mick?

Mick: No Mary sorry. I’m not a Catholic.

Mary: Sure you go to Mass every Sunday?

Mick: Ara that’s just an outing.

Mary: Anyone else?

All: [silence]

Mary: Ok. The priesht will have to sing it himself….. Right, what have we agreed at this evening’s meeting?

All: [Silence]

Tom: Anyone for a quick pint?

All: Yahhhh!

End of meeting. Next meeting at parish hall next Tuesday at 8.0pm
Agenda: Double-parking in the town; Christmas lights; Salt for Roads; Christmas Choir.
Pints afterwards in Donoghue’s.